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The real one on SNL

Sarah Palin -- the real one -- brings SNL its largest TV audience in 14 years.

I support John Obama, or Barack McCain, or whazzit...

Don't really like Howard Stern -- not a fan, don't listen to his show -- but stumbled across this and it's bizarre.

Obama supporters interviewed man-on-the-street-style confirming their support for their candidate, even when the interviewer attributes McCain's views to him.

Yes, they support Obama's decisions to oppose abortion, keep the troops in Iraq and pick Sarah Palin as his running mate.

To be fair, I'm sure there are McCain supporters who are equally confused.

Anderson Cooper on Obama and Ayers

First the NY Times and now CNN -- finally -- focus on the Obama-Ayers connection.

"But the relationship between Obama and Ayers went much deeper, ran much longer, and was much more political than Obama said."

Bill Ayers and his wife Bernadine Dorhn were founders of the radical group the Weathermen -- which through the late 60s and early 70s bombed public buildings, including the U.S. Capitol, killed police officers and robbed banks.

NPR this morning described Ayers as a "former terrorist." Isn't that sort of like being a "former child molester" or a "former cannibal"?

They shoulda got Queen Latifah for the real one

She's way hipper than Gwen Ifill.

Sing for Change Obama

I thought Democrats were hipper than this.

Well, there was that Will.i.am video...

Truly funny

Equally obnoxious to both candidates -- only SNL has the guts to do this.

David Letterman Reacts to John McCain Suspending Campaign

Funny as always, but goes on a little long.

Hey, give him a break -- he announced his candidacy on the show.

McCartney Stands up to Terror

There are many things I may not agree with Paul McCartney about, but I've always thought there was something really principled and decent about him.

The Guardian reports that despite death threats, he plans to go through with a concert in Israel to celebrate the nation's 60th anniversary.

"I do what I think and I have many friends who support Israel," McCartney told Israeli newspaper Yedioth Ahronoth.

I remember in the months after 9/11, when the various political factions in the U.S. and elsewhere started sniping at each other again, McCartney chastised them for not standing with President Bush and Prime Minister Blair as they struggled to confront terrorists -- two men I doubt he shares much with in terms of political and social views.

I think he saw that something more was at stake than petty politics.

Cruise Takes It

An unidentifiable Tom Cruise stealing the show in Tropic Thunder.

Probably his best dance bit since "Risky Business."

Edit: YouTube pulled down the clip I had posted, so here's a different one.

Tropic Thunder

Crude, disgusting, profane -- an excruciatingly accurate satire about big-budget Hollywood war movies, and about the movie industry in general.

If you've seen Apocalypse Now, Platoon, Full Metal jacket, etc., you'll get it.

Tom Cruise is the real surprise in this one, and he effectively steals the show.

Stop Outsourcing Roles in Pro-Obama Videos!

The plight of the American celebrity -- I propose trade sanctions.

Why they call it the music "business"

Two of my favorite things...

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Women's beach volleyball and The Office -- things that make TV not suck.

Back to our regularly scheduled programming...

Olympics are over.

TV sucks again.

Conveniently located....

I have my 30-year high school reunion this weekend.

Feeling pretty good about it. I've dropped about 12 pounds since January, still have all my hair, have my lies all worked out (yeah, I'm a venture capitalist...yeah, I'm a test pilot for the Navy...yeah, I'm chairman of Disney...yeah, this is my wife -- former Playboy Playmate of the Year AND a brain surgeon...). Hey, I'm from out of town -- nobody checks this stuff.

At least I WAS feeling good, until I got the directions to the Friday night mixer at the American Legion Hall (emphasis added): You'll come down Main Street and turn left at Stewart's. Just go down about a block or so...that's John Street. Look for the Legion on your left, the funeral home on your right.

Yeah, that's right -- some joker booked the reunion into a place RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET FROM A FUNERAL HOME.

I guess that will come in handy if anyone keels over dead while disco dancing to "Boogie Oogie Oogie."

Restraint

Okay, I'll admit it -- I like women's beach volleyball. It's a great sport that moves fast, the rules are easy to understand, and let's be honest the women are beautiful -- long, lean, tanned and athletic.

Earlier this week, President Bush stopped off to see U.S. gold-medal contenders Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh, who traded a few volleys with the president and offered up a few tips -- along with one more thing.

It's a tradition in beach volleyball, ostensibly, for players to pat one another on the behind for luck. And keeping with that tradition, Misty turned around and offered the president a swat, with a playful "want to?"

As the LA Times observed in recounting the tale, "Want to has nothing to do with it in public life."

The president, choosing propriety and judiciousness over irresistible temptation but not wanting to insult or jinx the athlete, instead brushed his hand across her lower back.

I stand in respect of the man's incredible restraint.

China Gold

U.S. Olympic swimmers Garret Weber-Gale and Michael Phelps erupt as teammate Jason Lezak clinches the gold in the 4x100 freestyle relay.

Leaving the trash-talking French team to choke on their brie and bordeaux in second place.

Three Movies

Watched three movies this weekend -- all varied in their style and subject.

First up was the theater debut of Swing Vote -- only the second time this year I've actually gone to the theater to see a movie (the last one was Speed Racer with my eight-year-old).

I won't spoil the plot, but will mention that the theme is particularly timely to this year's presidential election.

Interesting to note, the movie stars Kevin Costner, Kelsey Grammer and Dennis Hopper -- three of the biggest Republican stars in Hollywood. Which makes them quite a rarity.

Next up was Rescue Dawn, starring Christian Bale (the latest Batman), recounting Navy Pilot Dieter Dengler's escape from a Pathet Lao prison camp after being shot down over Laos in 1965. A bit plodding at times, but faithfully rendered and well acted.

And finally, in preparation for the sequel, we watched Hellboy. I had never seen the whole thing before. This one has it all. Story. Action. Special effects. Humor. Romance. Heroes. Villains. Looking forward to seeing Hellboy II: The Golden Army now.

Squirrel!

Interesting nature story told by a friend over dinner Friday night.

In an attempt to stop the squirrels and chipmunks from raiding the bird feeders in her yard, she erected a squirrel feeder, loaded up with all sorts of nuts and corn.

The thing seemed to be doing the trick, as the feral rodents flocked to it.

All was well, until the other day when she was out walking her dog, heard a loud "scree, scree!" from above and watched as a Red-tailed Hawk streaked from the sky and picked a chipmunk off the feeder.

The hawk, knowing a good thing when he sees it, has returned regularly to dine -- what my friend had intended to be a nut-filled squirrel feeder has in fact become a squirrel-filled hawk feeder.

My friend is okay with the whole survival-of-the-fittest aspect of this thing, although she deeply resents having to wipe blood off the squirrel feeder every time she refills it.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Raptor's Delight All-The-Squirrel-You-Can-Eat Buffet (Now with Chipmunk!).

The perfect nexus of the Circle of Life with the Law of Unintended Consequences.

Santa!

No, that's Radovan Karazdic -- known as the Butcher of the Balkans for, among other things, exterminating 8,000 Muslim men and boys and holding the city of Sarajevo under siege for more than three years during the Bosnian civil war in the 1990s.

Arrested for war crimes on Monday, he had been living quietly but openly under an assumed name in a Belgrade suburb, where he practiced, lectured and wrote articles on alternative medicine.

How could a monster be so normal?

They've done it again!

Those guys from Bose -- they've done it again!

Yesterday I received my Bose In-Ear Headphones, and they make my MP3 player absolutely come alive -- high fidelity, full range, pulsing bass, rich mids, crystal highs.

I'm ordering two more sets for my kids.

I want this

Lists of Useful Tips

My sister sent around one of those "lists of useful tips" the other day:

1. Good-bye Love Bug goo on windshield: Use a wet dryer sheet to "soap up" the windshield, then rinse off bugs with ease using garden hose.

2. Cupcake papers for gifting cookies: Love to bake and give cookies as a gift? To make the presentation more decorative inside your tin or box, use the cupcake paper liners to stack your cookies in. They stack about three high and keep cookies from slipping and chipping, plus, they are a "serving" to each who dips into the treats.

3. Shortning trick: Crack an egg into a measuring cup when baking, this lines the cup with a slippery glaze. Then put your shortning in the cup and it won't stick!

4. Golf sandwiches: Have old bread, rolls, bits of cheese, deli meats in your frig and hungry kids? Make Golf Sandwiches, invented by Aunt Alice. Lay breads and open faced rolls on a cookie sheet, heat broiler. Melt butter in microwave and brush onto bread/rolls and broil for a quick minute, but not all the way. Then put a layer of ham, salami, pepperoni, bacon, roastbeef, on the breads assorted, and then assorted cheeses, including parmesean or shredded mozzerella.......grill for up to two minutes. Remove "open-faced" sandwiches and serve with chips, pickles, mustard on the side. (One pc of bread saves calories. Also terrific without butter)

5. Panty Hose Pullup: We don't wear them as often, but they still need to feel great when we do. When first putting them on, or after using the restroom, pantyhose don't "feel" all the way up, but picking at them with finger nails can pull and possibly run them. Simply dampen your hands (after washing hands in restroom, they will be), and slide your hands from ankles to upper thigh, and voila, they are up and snug, feeling great!!

6. Want to be faster on the phone and more polite too? When you call someone, ask them if they have "just a few moments" to talk. This lets them know you are calling for quick business, not a lenghty chat. and gives them the opportunity to say yes, no or reschedule. For your benefit, it leaves you open to say that YOU just have a minute, and then when you gotta go, you go. They also won't launch into the long story of the week.....

Now, I mean, other than maybe the first one, is there anything on that list YOU can use? Pantyhose. Cupcake papers for "gifting" cookies? Who does that?

Here was the counter-list I sent back:

-- Use WD40 to remove grease spots and oil stains from your garage floor -- just spray, let sit for a minute, then blot with a paper towel.

-- When changing the oil in your car, use the pizza box from last-night's supper to prevent oil spills. Tear the lid off the box and place a piece of unfolded newspaper on the open box -- the edges of the paper should extend beyond the sides of the box. Set the oil drain pan on the newspaper, and the weight of the pan will push the paper down while the sides of the box will bell up the edges of the paper, creating kind of a newspaper bowl -- that way if any oil misses the pan, it will be contained, instead of running off the edges of the paper.

-- Even if your shotgun is chambered for them, three-and-a-half inch magnum shells kick like a mule, don't put that much more shot on the target, and have a tendency to hang up in the receiver when you cycle the action for a second shot. The three-inch mags are more than ample for taking down a bird at under 40 yards, they pop out of the ejector slot vigorously, and they produce less recoil.

-- Never schedule meetings for longer than they have to be -- work and discussion tend to expand to fill the time allotted. Thirty minutes is normally ample. Fifteen minutes is better.

-- The best time to take your lawnmower in to be serviced and have the blade sharpened is the dead of winter -- you don't need it then, and no one else is doing it. If you wait until mowing season starts, it will be three weeks before you get it back.

-- Always carry a pocketknife. Always.

-- When restringing your guitar or bass, try to get at least three to four turns of the new string on the tuning peg -- this will improve tension across the nut, reduce slippage, and enhance playability and intonation. Also, be careful not to twist any of the new strings as you install them, as this will inhibit their ability to vibrate properly, making them sound dead.

-- When seeding and fertilizing your lawn, cut the feed rate of the spreader in half and go over the whole thing twice -- first in one direction, and then perpendicular. It will take longer but you'll get more even dispersal, meaning a greener, thicker lawn.

-- Boxers or briefs? You decide. I don't care and I don't want to know.

-- If one of your wife's friends calls, and she's not there, let the answering machine get it. Otherwise, the caller will want to fill YOU in on all the details, chewing your ear for 15 minutes and expecting you to give your wife a full report when, in fact, you're going to condense the message down to "call Claire" anyway.

Much better, I think.

Star Wars according to a 3 year old.

Parking spot

The Gold Standard

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."

With those words, Martin Luther King set the gold standard for how a person -- any person -- should be measured.

That this would ring just as true for a middle-aged, middle-class white man like me as it did for a civil rights icon like him is testament to it's truth.

Hatred by the numbers

Syracuse University Prof. Arthur Brooks analyzes hate on the left and on the right, by the numbers, in the Wall Street Journal.

Anyway You Want It

Truly, truly awful.

Healthcare reform -- please tell me why this is bad

In the "I don't get it" department, pharmacy chain CVS wants to open in-store medical clinics in Boston staffed by medical professionals to treat minor ailments -- sore throats, poison ivy -- in an easy, quick and cost-effective fashion.

The nurse practitioners working in these clinics would be trained to spot more serious ailments and refer patients either to physicians or emergency rooms as appropriate. The plan has been approved by the the Massachusetts Public Health Council.

Now we get to the part I don't get -- Boston Mayor Thomas Menino is trying to stop it, reports the Boston Globe.

"Limited service medical clinics run by merchants in for-profit corporations will seriously compromise quality of care and hygiene," he said. "Allowing retailers to make money off of sick people is wrong."

Huh?

For-profit corporations? As opposed to people going to for-profit hospitals and for-profit doctors?

And it's okay for for-profit pharmacies to sell cough drops, prescription drugs and, of all things, cigarettes, but not to provide this level of healthcare?

Compromising quality and hygiene? As opposed to sitting in a doctor's waiting room or emergency room for hours, surrounded by people hacking, wheezing, sneezing, bleeding and oozing?

If we want to improve healthcare in this country and make it more accessible and affordable, the first step has to be, uh, making it more accessible and affordable. And this seems like a modest step in that direction.

Whose pocket is this guy in? Or is he just on crack? You can read the mayor's news release on the topic here.

I humbly pass my crown...

Proving that I'm not, in fact, the meanest parent in the universe.

This on the AP about an Iowa mom who sold her son's car after finding booze under the front seat.

From the ad: "OLDS 1999 Intrigue. Totally uncool parents who obviously don't love teenage son, selling his car. Only driven for three weeks before snoopy mom who needs to get a life found booze under front seat. $3,700/offer. Call meanest mom on the planet."

When the bought him the car -- so "free car" for the kid -- they gave him two rules: keep it locked and no booze.

What a little dope.

Happy New Year!

Wow, it's only a little after 1 p.m., and I've already:
-- Been to the gym
-- Updated my resume
-- Laid out my fitness and nutrition regimen for the year
-- Changed the batteries in the CO and smoke detectors.

Modest new year's resolutions for me as usual:
1) Lose 20 pounds -- sensibly, through proper diet and exercise. I figure I'm 10 pounds away from my clothes fitting right, and 20 away from looking the way I'd like to look.

2) Bigger and better things, careerwise.