Wednesday, October 05, 2005

PeaceNik Shocker: Iraqis WANT Democracy!

Polling shows that 79 percent of Iraqis favor the new constitution being written by their first democratically elected government since whenever, reports Reuters.

The polls showed that even among Sunnis approval runs at 50 percent, indicating that the political split between Sunnis and Shiites might not be as bad as previously believed.

The story continues that Iraqis are weary of both the sectarian infighting and the violence commited by Al Qaeda terrorists, and simply want to have a stable government and to live in peace.

Antiwar activists expressed shock, anger, confusion and grief at the news.

"Why, we just generally assumed Iraqis LIKED being murdered, brutalized and tortured by the sadistic maniacs," said Richard "Woot" Slakey, spokesman for A.N.S.W.E.R. "I mean, who wouldn't want their 12-year-old daughter raped by a platoon of the Saddam Fedayeen? Huh, by golly, it's a puzzler."

"It seems pretty clear that the Iraqis have been duped by zionist-aggressor American occupiers into accepting this so-called "constitution" in a pathetic attempt to establish a "free" country," said Clarette Blivious, member of the Community Brunch Committee of United for Peace and Justice. "You'd think they'd have been content to be slaves under the boot of a vicious dictator, citizens of a rogue, outlaw nation that oppressed its minorities, supported global terror and hid illegal chemical and biological weapons. But NOOOOOOOOOO...they make me sick!"

Other "peace" activists reported such symptoms as dizziness, headache, plantar warts, anemia, uncontrollable weeping, serious doubt about the moral rightness of their views, and projectile diarrhea.

Note: I made up everything after the third paragraph.

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